🌱 How ADHD Affects Young Adults
Understanding, Compassion, and Connection
The transition from teenager to adult is exciting , and for many young adults, it’s also incredibly overwhelming.
Add ADHD to the mix, and the world can suddenly feel like it’s moving faster than you can keep up with. Time disappears, motivation fluctuates, and everyday responsibilities, things like laundry, budgeting, appointments, or replying to messages can feel impossible to manage leading to overwhelm, anxiety and anger.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. ADHD affects how the brain regulates attention, motivation, and emotional responses, and it often shows up differently in early adulthood.
The Hidden Struggles of “Adulting” with ADHD
Here are some of the most common challenges I see in young adults with ADHD:
Time blindness: Losing track of time or underestimating how long things take.
Task initiation struggles: Knowing what to do but not being able to start.
Inconsistent motivation: Feeling bursts of energy and focus… followed by total exhaustion.
Overwhelm with decision-making: Even small choices feel like a mountain.
Emotional ups and downs: Quick frustration, guilt, or self-blame after mistakes.
Difficulty following through: Starting with good intentions, then losing steam halfway.
“ADHD isn’t a lack of knowing what to do — it’s a challenge in doing what we already know.” — Dr. Russell Barkley
These challenges don’t come from laziness or carelessness. They’re the result of how the ADHD brain processes information, emotion, and motivation differently. People with ADHD (or neurodivergent) are motivated by Interest, Newness, Urgency and Immediate Reward where someone without ADHD (neurotypical) are more typically motivated by importance, future self and delayed gratification. Neither brain is wrong, they’re just different.
You may resonate with someone like Alex. Alex is a 21-year-old university student who described himself as “lazy” as that’s what he often heard growing up. He was smart, funny, and creative, but his grades were slipping, and he spent hours scrolling social media instead of starting assignments.
Through extra support (coach, counsellor, mentor, teacher, etc), making new awarenesses, learning about ADHD and implementing new thoughts, emotions and habits, Alex began to understand his ADHD brain. Once he built structure, accountability, and strategies that matched how his brain works, he started finishing projects, not perfectly, but consistently. His confidence grew. The “lazy” label faded. What replaced it was self-trust.
Why Structure and Compassion Matter
Young adults with ADHD often benefit most from external structure and emotional safety. When you’ve spent years hearing messages like “you just need to try harder,” it’s hard to believe that effort isn’t the issue, strategy and understanding is where it’s at.
What helps most:
Gentle routines and visual reminders
Accountability that feels supportive, not shaming
Learning what activates your brain — interest, novelty, or urgency
Practicing self-compassion when motivation dips
Focusing on progress, not perfection
For Parents: Shifting from Control to Collaboration
If you’re a parent watching your young adult struggle, it can be heartbreaking, and frustrating for ALL involved. You may want to step in and “fix” things, but that can backfire. Constant correction can lead to lack of connection. They already know what they’re not doing, the issue is doing it. Correction also likely has the child sitting in shame, guilt and lower self-worth that would be change even harder. Envision yourself as a team tackling the challenge, not a parent vs child on two separate teams. They need you for help and regulation, and you want them to feel loved and thrive in life.
So instead of control and correction on repeaters, try collaboration instead.
Ask permission before offering advice.
Validate their frustration before suggesting solutions.
Offer gentle accountability (“Want me to check in on that?”).
Encourage progress over performance.
Notice and point out what they’re doing right. It’s hard to work on struggles without a solid foundation.
The goal isn’t to remove struggle, it’s to help your child feel capable of handling it.
Whether you’re a young adult with ADHD or a parent seeking guidance to help support their child, I’m always happy to chat! I too have ADHD as well as my teenage son so I truly get the invisible struggles that others can’t see and likely can’t resonate with.
Visit Courtenay Edwardes Coaching to find the complimentary session option to choose a time that works for you! Zero pressure, simply a space to ask questions and give you the clarity to decide how you’d like to move forward. Phone call or zoom meeting available. Courtenay
